i’m a person who’s passionate in doing things i love, committed when i was given a responsibility, perfectionist in every aspects and i rarely take things for granted..i find strength in doing things i love no matter how tiresome i get from the demand of such works because i gain satisfaction from a work well done and perfectly flawless – yes, i didn’t believe in flaw..*it’s in past tense mind you*
but something stroke me today..
i wasn’t feeling well these few days..i was coughing pretty badly, and i’m catching up with cold..and to complicate the condition, i received a frequent visit from ms.sleeping disorder who’s been keeping me awake when i should be sleeping..but i managed to keep up with the disorder for a couple of days but not today..
the cough was harsh and painful last night and when i was about to be able to fall asleep, the cough hit me again..or if it’s not the cough, i was awakened on my own..it’s hard to get back to sleep when you suddenly got awakened because your heartbeat was rushing and you need some time to tame the heartbeat..
i still go to class a few days ago eventhough i risked everyone else to get affected with my condition but i’d rather do things i enjoy like linguistics rather than being at home treating myself with cough syrup and plenty of water and plenty more visits to the toilet..i wanted to sort out my assignments, get confirmation from the lecturer..all those things a student would want to do..
but today i raised a white flag to the cough & cold..i stayed home getting some good rest and before boredom kills me, i started to write my essay..i got screwed up in the middle of the writing because i didn’t have enough resources to refer to and i ended up getting frustrated and urgh..i cried..blaming myself for being weak and for not being able to withstand the pain and stupid (?) for not knowing how to do it right (the essay)..suddenly everything goes wrong!
people say miracle happens and yea, it happened today..sami yusuf’s al-muallim came out from my playlist and then i realised that:
Khayru khalqillahi Muhammad
‘the best of Allah’s creation is Muhammad’..he would pray when everyone else is sleeping, fast when everyone else is not, cries when everyone else is laughing, wished for his people to be prosper in his dying bed..
thus the questions being..do i pray when everyone else is sleeping..?fast when i don’t have reasons to fast..?i laugh more than i cry, i’m sure about that..and have i been praying for all the good things for everyone..?i have not yet do all these haven’t i..?so, why do i expect life to be perfect..?who am i again..?nothing compared to the messenger am i..
thank You the most gracious & the most merciful for guiding me even when i forget to think about You