april fool..

it will be 01.04.2011 in a couple of hours in new zealand..and we’d be one of the earliest countries to welcome that date..and i bet a lot of the people here will be celebrating april fool and play pranks with each other..

well, i’m not a fan of april fool in any way because i don’t see the point of making fun of other people..it’s fun, seeing them getting embarrassed or getting confused like a dog who’s just lost its meal bowl..but no, it is so UNKIND..

but i do have some april fool memories.. :p

when i was a junior in high school, some of my seniors pulled pranks to us while we were dead asleep..being a junior was so tiring and eventhough i heard giggles when they were pulling the pranks, i just couldn’t afford to open my eyes to see what were they doing..

and when i woke up the next morning, my eyebrows were painted in blue, my towel was no where to be found, one of my sandals was lost, and my bodywash was mixed with washing powder..and i eventually found my towel, hanged across the dormitory block..my roommate had toothpaste drawn on her cheeks..there were more in fact..the mirrors were painted black, the clothes in the lockers were exchanged etc etc..they’re creative weren’t they..?

but the year after that the celebration was banned in school, so the seniors at that time couldn’t do any pranks to the juniors so it was a bit dull and boring but yes, they learned how to be more respectful..yes you can pull pranks to your friends but not at the cost of their pride, time, effort etc..in a more simple words, just don’t..kindly don’t..you know how bad it feels when you’re played do you..? 🙂

the hunter lounge..

we spent some good time together after class today and other than paying for some over-priced food, we snapped some AWESOME photos! *please, just say they are awesome..for an amateur, i don’t mind* :p

p/s: there are only the photo of us, none of the food 🙂 gee~ and all thanks to dely’s instagram & the all time favourite photo editor –  photoshop, for allowing my imagination runs freely! *click on the photo to see in actual size*

ernie!

wawa!

cik sha!

erin!

dely!

cik sar!

saya!

dan saya lagi!

a life support..

it’s the time of the year again..when things are pretty impossible to juggle with only two hands..but to think of it again, it’s not your hands or your legs..it’s your mind..you only have two hands and two legs and you can only walk in one direction at a time so whether or not you can juggle everything using the two hands and legs, depends on your beautifully crafted brain..

things do fall apart..schedule changes, plans change and projects can be successful as much as it can be a complete failure..well the list is longer if you want..

and we will know at some point whether or not we can handle all the pressures and stress..it’s just a matter of time before we can see the result and before we even know we’re capable of finishing what we’ve started..most of the the time we’re put in a situation where we don’t even want to start with it but seems like destiny doesn’t agree with what we wish so we end up doing what destiny has to offer..so yes, like it or not, successful or not, we still have to do the juggling to see the result..

it’s like, do or die!

and during such times, we could really use some kind hearts, who care enough to just listen and be the avid supporters even for that short, specific moment..when things get so freaking difficult, a kind and sincere voice saying “you’ll be fine, you’ll get through all these and we’ll celebrate before you knew it!” would really gets the sinking heart grows..and trust me the beautifully “wounded” mind needs it too to beautifully gets back to work.. 😦

as much as you need a lifetime supporter who can stand up for you even when the whole world is against you, that’s how much i need your support too..it’s reciprocal..if it is not too much to ask..

thank you for listening..

of how pain feels like..

 

at least when that happens, we'll be prepared..we wish..*crossing fingers, arms and legs* haha..

when i was in class this morning, we discussed about how things were going with our teaching experience..of course we complained a lot because that was what we were asked to do! so yes, we could’ve gone forever with our complains but no, we didn’t, because we knew no matter how much we hated this thing, we’d have to finish it..like it or not..

but a couple of friends and i continued our discussion *well, for some good reasons – of course* and on our way back home, here’s what we talked about..

miss a : this’s so gonna end soon..and i know i’m so gonna miss it..in one year time, i’ll talk about how i miss my student life..

miss b : i know~!!! this’s so gonna end soon..but it’s so painful to get through it..

miss a : it IS painful..but don’t worry, we’ll finish it before we know it..*nod her head*

miss b : and before we know it, we’d have five kids of our own and struggling with that phase of life..

miss a : and before we know it, everything has sagged..

miss a & miss b : uwaaa~!!! T_T

but NOPE, we don’t give up do we..?yes, we’re still picking up the last bits and pieces of our undergraduate years and trying to make things meaningful no matter how hard it gets MOST of the times *not sometimes*..

well, that’s just how life works..there will be times when you have to work with some ‘less favourable’ things and of course every second will be a painful torture..we can’t grow stronger if we don’t know how pain feels like..wish us well 🙂

and here’s a movie i look forward to watch..haha..and i love the song! it’s by Madcon – Beggin’

the daddy..

i went out to indulge myself with some over-priced cake and milk tea but before that, i found something so sweet i don’t think i even need that sweet indulgence..look at the photos below..*click at the photos to see in actual size*

here are two little girls playing at the bank..

look who's watching over them when they tried to get into the water..

and the daddy stayed there watching over the girls.. 🙂

melayu..

penat, sekolah itu jauh..waktu tidur saya amat awal dikorbankan..masih bersisa marah ini, puncanya bila terasa diri tidak diadili..ini bukan kali pertama saya perlu berulang ke sekolah yang jauh..

itu kata hati..tapi fizikal ini masih gagah menurutkan kehendak guru..itu tanggungjawab, saya faham..

mujur juga ada teman untuk semua ini..mungkin untuk sementara, tapi cukup untuk saya belajar arah memulakan langkah..terima kasih nazira, rasa ralat itu mungkin telah pudar..terasa kurang juga beban untuk mengenali tempat baru itu..

rupanya lebih ramai hamba Tuhan yang datang dari jauh..mereka ramai dari negara matahari terbit..lidah mereka masih basah dengan bahasa ibunda..masih sukar untuk mereka tuturkan bahasa milik penjajah ini..tapi mereka tegar belajar..masih mahu mencuba..walau keluarga jauh dan mereka masih muda untuk menguruskan hidup sendiri..

mereka masih terbongkok bongkok bila nama mereka dipanggil..bila berterima kasih, bila mengucap selamat tinggal..mereka kaya dengan adat dan tidak malu menzahirkannya..mereka sopan..tidak selantang kaum Kiwi..rasa hormat mereka tinggi..resam orang timur, saya turut bangga..

bekal mereka nasi dan mee..mereka tidak malu..muda pada usia, tapi banyak yang boleh ditimba dari mereka..

saya disoal minda sendiri, mana melayunya saya..?maka saya mula berkira..saya tuturkan bahasa melayu..saya punya rupa melayu..saya anut agama yang dianut orang melayu..tapi dihujung ayat setuju, saya tawar hati untuk terus bersetuju..ada adat yang saya tidak gemar, kerana terasa susah untuk dikerjakan tanpa ada munasabah pasti..

itu belum isu stigma yang ditampal pada orang melayu..minda mereka belum terbuka..jasad mereka masih malas..korupsi diamalkan membelakangkan ajaran agama yang benar..mengapa mereka tutupkan mata dari nampak haram dalam kerja itu..?pasti tidak ada berkat yang singgah jika itu dijadikan amalan..maka bagaimana generasi melayu boleh mulia jika asal mereka dari sumber yang tercemar..?

saya mahu kahwini insan melayu..dengan agama yang mulia, dari asal yang baik..saya mahu anak, yang bangga beribu bapakan melayu, yang meneruskan bahasa melayu itu, yang terus menganut agama mulia itu, yang makan masakan melayu..yang mampu menambah generasi melayu yang tidak ditampal stigma kaum itu..

saya melayu, saya malu, tapi saya mahu mengubah itu..

of that specific human’s basic need..

let’s just say, i’ve been having quite a bit of sleeping disorder since i started university..but i’ve always been a light sleeper ever since i have memory *think i exaggerated a bit here but i had no idea when i actually started to be a light sleeper* 🙂

when i was in my first year, i got a room all to myself – i didn’t have a room mate..the room was quite spacious since i didn’t have much furniture or stuffs to make the room look smaller..so i was pretty scared to sleep alone because i had an eerie imagination that those empty spaces would be filled with “God-knows-what” & “things-we-don’t-talk-about” while i was sleeping..and what happened was, i would be awakened for all the unknown reasons at around 3:00/4:00 o’clock in the morning, to further terrify myself by looking at the empty spaces, to make sure that there were nothing ‘unwanted’ or at least strange enough to my vision – occupying the spaces..

it was a bit silly though..wouldn’t it give me a peace of mind if i did not wake up and try to find the “unwanted” things..?did i really want to see those things..?haha..

i chickened out everytime i got awakened..my heart-beat would be rushing and usually i forced myself to fall back to sleep but the more i forced myself to sleep, the faster my heart beat, and the more difficult it got to sleep again..

then i asked wawa (a friend of mine) to sleep with me whenever she had no early morning classes on the following days..and it worked..i got to sleep peacefully at night..soon after that, most of my friends went crazy over this one particular soap drama – a ghost story which i eventually followed as well because they were using my room to watch that drama..

and of course it affected my sleeping pattern again..and i managed to force ain to sleep with me and wawa because i thought there were still some spot needed to be filled!

that was how i survived my first year..

so when i was in my second year, my house were separated from the majority of my friends, so there were few people left who i can sleep with..and the condition got worsened with the presence of some unwanted rats..eu~!!! the house was not properly ventilated so it got so cold in the winter and eventually added up the pressure on me and my housemates..

that was the time when it was very difficult for me to fall asleep at night and i would be awakened at least twice when i was sleeping..i remembered going to school with a bloodshot eyes because i was sleep-deprived and crying it over to my friends because i haven’t been getting enough sleep for almost a week and we would be having a test in the next two or three days..then sha kindly offered me to stay at her place and after a while, i got to sleep again at night though i would still be awakened but i didn’t have any problem getting back to sleep..yes, until i flew off to serbia during the winter break, and jet lag jeopardised my sleeping time again..

i gave up trying after that..so everytime it’s hard for me to fall asleep, i’d just be in bed, read some magazines, or talked to Ariff or Amir whose sleeping time were and still are different for me just to kill the time..it’d get so tiring if i were having an early class the following morning but i could sort of compensate my sleeping time with just a two hour sleep in the afternoon..and if i were awakened at night, i’d tame the heart beat by scrolling down and read all the texts that were still in the inbox till i fall asleep again..

it was SO hard coping with sleep disorder and how i wish i could enjoy this basic human need without any problems but since it was so difficult for me, i guess i just have to cope with it..a few nights ago i was awakened because i felt the difference in temperature from my necklace and the pendant sort of moved when i turned my neck..i used to be awakened by that little noise from the honk on the road that was hundreds of metres away from my house and uh, i got awakened practically even when there’s nothing audible or visible..

and why i write this..?because i could only sleep at 3am last night and i’ve to wake up at 6am this morning..sad, i know..