of that specific human’s basic need..

let’s just say, i’ve been having quite a bit of sleeping disorder since i started university..but i’ve always been a light sleeper ever since i have memory *think i exaggerated a bit here but i had no idea when i actually started to be a light sleeper* 🙂

when i was in my first year, i got a room all to myself – i didn’t have a room mate..the room was quite spacious since i didn’t have much furniture or stuffs to make the room look smaller..so i was pretty scared to sleep alone because i had an eerie imagination that those empty spaces would be filled with “God-knows-what” & “things-we-don’t-talk-about” while i was sleeping..and what happened was, i would be awakened for all the unknown reasons at around 3:00/4:00 o’clock in the morning, to further terrify myself by looking at the empty spaces, to make sure that there were nothing ‘unwanted’ or at least strange enough to my vision – occupying the spaces..

it was a bit silly though..wouldn’t it give me a peace of mind if i did not wake up and try to find the “unwanted” things..?did i really want to see those things..?haha..

i chickened out everytime i got awakened..my heart-beat would be rushing and usually i forced myself to fall back to sleep but the more i forced myself to sleep, the faster my heart beat, and the more difficult it got to sleep again..

then i asked wawa (a friend of mine) to sleep with me whenever she had no early morning classes on the following days..and it worked..i got to sleep peacefully at night..soon after that, most of my friends went crazy over this one particular soap drama – a ghost story which i eventually followed as well because they were using my room to watch that drama..

and of course it affected my sleeping pattern again..and i managed to force ain to sleep with me and wawa because i thought there were still some spot needed to be filled!

that was how i survived my first year..

so when i was in my second year, my house were separated from the majority of my friends, so there were few people left who i can sleep with..and the condition got worsened with the presence of some unwanted rats..eu~!!! the house was not properly ventilated so it got so cold in the winter and eventually added up the pressure on me and my housemates..

that was the time when it was very difficult for me to fall asleep at night and i would be awakened at least twice when i was sleeping..i remembered going to school with a bloodshot eyes because i was sleep-deprived and crying it over to my friends because i haven’t been getting enough sleep for almost a week and we would be having a test in the next two or three days..then sha kindly offered me to stay at her place and after a while, i got to sleep again at night though i would still be awakened but i didn’t have any problem getting back to sleep..yes, until i flew off to serbia during the winter break, and jet lag jeopardised my sleeping time again..

i gave up trying after that..so everytime it’s hard for me to fall asleep, i’d just be in bed, read some magazines, or talked to Ariff or Amir whose sleeping time were and still are different for me just to kill the time..it’d get so tiring if i were having an early class the following morning but i could sort of compensate my sleeping time with just a two hour sleep in the afternoon..and if i were awakened at night, i’d tame the heart beat by scrolling down and read all the texts that were still in the inbox till i fall asleep again..

it was SO hard coping with sleep disorder and how i wish i could enjoy this basic human need without any problems but since it was so difficult for me, i guess i just have to cope with it..a few nights ago i was awakened because i felt the difference in temperature from my necklace and the pendant sort of moved when i turned my neck..i used to be awakened by that little noise from the honk on the road that was hundreds of metres away from my house and uh, i got awakened practically even when there’s nothing audible or visible..

and why i write this..?because i could only sleep at 3am last night and i’ve to wake up at 6am this morning..sad, i know..


2 thoughts on “of that specific human’s basic need..

  1. haha..bukan stakat lavender irr..ylang2, vanilla, tatami semua aku dh try..skrg ni aku guna african herbs ape tah..haha..siti irr~!!! aku rindu kau..

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