of conflicted self..

God, i had a painful day to start with..i mean i didn’t know my sleeping pattern last night but i went to bed as early as 9:30pm..practically i dozed off from watching some Korean variety shows but it’s not because the show was so boring but it’s because i was too tired for having a long day and i wasn’t feeling well..and when i slept early, i got awakened pretty much at after every hour..and i’ve had weird nightmares too..God, i have no idea what is happening to my sleeping pattern..those who have no problem getting a good sleep, do value that ability..it’s a lot of pain when it’s a problem to you..trust me..

anyway, that is not what i plan to talk about..there is something from class today that i’m keen to share here..it’s about conflicted self when you’re projecting your other identity..

well, since i believe that life is multidimensional – that we are affected by numerous socialisation agents- we learned to identify that different institutions have different roles and functions and with such differences, there need to be different ways of approaching those different institutions..

here’s an example..we are socialised by the school, by the media that we are exposed to, by the religion we are brought up with, the social group we belong to and the social groups we’re involved in..and with such socialisation we identify school as having a specific role – as being the centre for formal education..but within that school you have teachers and friends you frequently make contact with..so other than being a place where education takes place, some people also recognise school as a place for them to have fun with their peers..as for the person specifically, they might behave differently with different teachers..

so what i’m saying is, people do have multiple identities..depending on the contexts..

so you’re the boss in your career and you have to model punctuality to your workers but in fact you’re not a punctual person to start with..or you’re a chef specialised in Mediterranean food but you’re not a person who loves such cuisines..or you’re transferred to a country which does not favour anything about the country you come from..

at some point you’ll get to adjust yourself..in accepting the fact that you have to be punctual and practically teach yourself to be punctual..or still make the best Mediterranean food eventhough you’re so sick even to the smell of the ingredients..or finding yourself trying to adapt with that new country and deal with all the challenges..

that’s when you have conflicted self within that different identities..that’s when you’re torn between what you think as ideals and what’s in front of you spelling themselves as reality..we all have to adjust to this..i know, reality is not always rainbows and butterflies aye..

to my fellow student-teacher friends, let’s reflect on this matter..are we ready for such conflicts..?to really practice what we preach..?


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