of a polygamy..

  • it’s their nature, guys can love more than one person at a time..
  • but it’s the girls’ nature too, that they can’t share their love..
  • but in Islam, polygamy (specifically polygyny) is allowed under some circumstances..and some of the circumstances being:
  1. helping an old and/or poor widow who has difficulty raising her orphaned children..
  2. helping a new Muslim convert who’s no longer accepted by her family and needing a good guidance from another Muslim..
  3. helping a couple with a sterile wife to actually have children on his own, the legitimate way..
  4. helping the captives of war..
  5. helping a man with a chronically ill wife to get another wife to help manages his life, and at the same time helping the ill wife to keep a husband to care for her instead of opting for a divorce..

what i’m trying to say is, polygyny is permitted under some circumstances following an honourable intention..so if some men say –

“it’s more sinful if i commit adultery therefore i choose polygyny”

he’s just being selfish..because in most cases like the above, he’s undermining his economical state, he disregards his ability of doing justice to the older wife, he might not even think of his capability to manage the welfare of his children with the first wife..the driving forces of his decision are lust and tainted desires..

look guys,

if you choose polygyny when your wife has been carrying her duties faithfully, has been trying hard to take care of the household and has been taking good care of herself for you, a polygyny would be a tormenting psychological damage to her life..

imagine how painful it gets knowing your husband is having a girlfriend and planning to get married..imagine how embarrassing it gets when you have to tell your parents your husband is planning a second marriage..and how excruciatingly painful it becomes picturing your husband sleeping with someone else..

works for the women will be very daunting because she just cannot concentrate and she is deeply saddened by what is happening to her marriage..at that state of mind, parenting to the children might also be problematic..and don’t let me start on the stress and pressures and disappointment among the kids..

there will be a lot more nights where you have to eat dinner with someone familiar missing from his permanent spot..or the nights together will be different thinking you’re now sharing what used to be exclusively and rightfully yours..his arms now are not open for you and your kids alone as someone else is also finding comfort in that arms..and he’s happily lending them to her..

**i’m crying as i type this**

how could you let someone so fragile and harmless undergoes such pain..?an honourable man will not get himself involved in such a situation where he eventually needs to say “it’s more sinful if i commit adultery therefore i choose polygyny”

and an honourable man reads this until the sentence finishes..

If you fear that you might not treat the orphans justly, then marry the women that seem good to you: two, or three, or four..if you fear that you will not be able to treat them justly, then marry (only) one, or marry from among those whom your right hands possess..this will make it more likely that you will avoid injustice (An-nisa’ 4:3)

and will also understand that no matter how hard he tries to be absolutely fair, he can never be successful..

You will not be able to treat your wives with absolute justice not even when you keenly desire to do so..(it suffices in order to follow the Law of Allah that) you incline not wholly to one, leaving the other in suspense..if you act rightly and remain God-fearing, surely Allah is All-Forgiving, All-Compassionate (An-nisa’ 4:129)

polygyny is not a stapled rule for men..it’s an option given to an honourable hearts..not a lustrous monster..not to those who use God’s name in favour of their needs..but only to those who commit polygyny because of God..we can always tell the difference from the two..


12 thoughts on “of a polygamy..

  1. (yuyu, pls delete my previous comment, tertekan post lol)

    most guys who say they’re doing it because it’s a ‘sunnah’ are just delusional – YE ke nak ikut sunnah rasulullah? how many of said guys are actually religious? the way i see it, if a person is truly honorable, they would take the ‘be equal to all your wives’ rule VERY seriously, because it is an amanah that will stick with you till after you die. if you don’t meet that expectation, siap la you bila kena tanya time hari kiamat nanti.

    also, polygamy doesn’t just affect the wives, how about the kids? how sure are you that you can act just for all of them?

    using faith/religion to back up your own selfish wants = pathetic. most of the guys who have polygamous marriages these days are just guys who can’t keep their pants on.

    1. indeed..it’s amanah..and for some people who take amanah seriously, they wouldn’t dare to try something they’re very sure they can’t fulfill..

      of course, the kids..what they should know better is their tanggungjawab to raise the kids properly..one of the purposes of marriage is to create a good Muslim generations..kalau yang tu pun belum mampu buat, what makes them think they could handle another marriage..

      it’s sad kan zaty..?God allows this with the best-est of intentions – so we can help orang2 dlm kesusahan..but some people use this to cause some other people to suffer..such a selfish being..like you said, pathetic!

    1. sebab girls tak boleh jadi boys (naturally) so mcm ni la bunyi nya kalau girls yang tulis..thank you for visiting rauhan..kau pun join dgn gundam ke..?tgk dia komen apa..

  2. poligami ni bukan exclusively Islam punya idea, zaman jahiliyah dulu the Arabs simpan/ kawin banyak perempuan. people in other cultures pun practice benda ni. women were degraded into barang n komoditi. that’s y Allah kurniakan poligami so that kedudukan wanita di angkat dan dijaga. bukan barang simpanan tp jadi pasangan hidup yg sah dan honorable.

    btul Allah bagi syarat2 tu sbb Allah faham naluri n kemampuan manusia. tp zaman sekarang ni instead of using poligami sbg ibadah, people tend to abuse it.

    1. exactly! skrg they don’t look back at the history, as to why our God permits polygamy..and because of ignorance jugak, they abuse this permission..nicely put poms 🙂 we’ve discussed benda ni long ago..tapi baru skrg aku rasa nak tulis..and thank you for reading..

    1. haha..i can never tolerate that..if it were to happen *i can never tell the future* it better be separated..gila weh derg~~~ and trust me..bila makcik tu kata dia terasa hati, kena tolerate..memaafkan..it’s not easy on her..it’s eating her deep from the inside..amir don’t do that~!!!

      1. Haha i think it was all for the camera. Terasa macam semua tu lakonan tahap antarabangsa.

        1. agakla..amir, aku tgh buat research on gifted students..kau penah tak buat IQ test..?aku rs kau sebenarnya genius, kau je tak tau..imagine kalau kau dpt training betul2 and dpt gunakan cognitive potential kau at optimum level..

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