about two weeks ago, i over heard a student when he was asking his teacher for an english translation for the malay words “anak dara” and he asked if “virgin daughter”could be an answer he was looking for..and yes, the teacher laughed his head off..well i laughed too 🙂
true, in our culture (the malay culture) “anak dara” can directly be translated as a virgin and unmarried daughter..a maiden..and true too, in our culture, if one is to refer to their unmarried daughter, they can address their daughter as “anak dara” – with an implying connotation that their daughter has never had any sexual intercourse out of wedlock – that their daughter is pure and innocent – and therefore she carries with her, her dignity..which can’t really explain exactly the malay word “maruah”..
yes, that means, if the daughter loses her virginity before she gets married, she’s no longer “anak dara” and therefore she loses her “maruah” too..
sad, why should they place “dignity” on a person’s virginity..?what if she loses her virginity because she used to be a rape victim..what if she loses her virginity because of the sports she has been doing..?
and they call themselves as valuing dignity by judging someone’s dignity over something so private as private as virginity..?really, do you need to know if a girl is still a virgin..?and what do you do exactly after “allegedly” knowing her virginity status..?
people make mistakes and at some point of their lives, they might have taken a wrong turn and it costs them their virginity..and some people are unfortunate that their virginity is taken from them forcefully..
but it’s NEVER up to us to judge and measure anyone’s dignity based on what they have or what they have lost..and really, it’s even sad that the mentality can never change..really people should see there are more to dignity than virginity – attitude – but do they pay attention to this..?least likely..sad, tell me about it..
not that i’m de-valuing virginity..i just think dignity shouldn’t be measured on virginity alone..or the majority of the proportion that makes up dignity should not be virginity..it’s bias even when comparison is to be made to the opposite gender..
i’m just saying..