of that day out we had..

it’s been ages since i went out with the girls and spent 80% of our time posing for cameras..all thanks to those with smartphones whom batteries died in honour of applications usage that i had no choice but to use my darling, old phone’s camera..the photos weren’t so bad afterall 🙂

we’re all a bit worn out from the weekdays day in day out activities – work and stuff so the plan to spin on roller blades changed into a sleazy, couch-potatoing activity of watching a movie – one for the money..it’s not so bad, but it’s a slow paced movie..watch it in cinema with companies..you’d end up sleeping if you’re to watch it alone at home..

we then headed to the jetty and i just hated that place so much for its emptiness of an ambiance that i forced them all to go to the library instead..so yea, enjoy the following photos – of comfort food and beautiful creations that cost us around MYR170.00 but time having each other’s company and quarrel..?PRICELESS darling..

the pose at the not-flashy-at-all background after being forced to leave the place 😛 we're waiting for our buggy ride! 🙂
left : lea,yot and cuda..and the menu books after hours of mind boggling decision-making task..thank you abg librarian for being so patient 🙂
told you my old phone's camera is still well and young at heart..he loves pretty subject 🙂 and that was cuda being asked to fake a laugh and she's just nailed it..good job drama queen..
is she your teacher..?be thankful that she's your teacher as she still teaches you despite her backpain that is yet to be discovered..the calm and more settled acheng 🙂 who says you look aging..?you still look like the 18 year-old you! well may be when you're 18 you look more mature than your age 😛
not my favourite..i prefer the apple ale more..and too bad while in wellington for graduation i didn't go to kelburn shop to get my apple ale fixed 😦
this is acheng's pasta..i didn't remember the name exactly but it is served with a fish fillet..and it's a hot version of a pasta..a more malaysianised kind of pasta for the malaysian taste buds 🙂
this is cuda's chicken wings..too rich in sauce that i only eat a piece of them..well that's because i accidentally cut my finger when opening the can that it's painful for me to eat with my fingers especially eating something rich in chillies and tomatoes..but everyone else loves it..
this is yot's chicken carbonara..the creamiest we've ever tasted that i wish i brought some black pepper with me to spice it up a bit..trust me you'd want to finish it before the air cools it down..
so this is my chicken leg..i wish they give me more veges but the mushroom soup is a different story..we couldn't have enough..a bit too salty so nope, boyfriend can't have it..the whipped potato is an ok but the chicken leg..?well i was suprised with its look..think it could have a better appearance..as for the taste, it's another ok because it could be better if it's not too well done as it's a bit too dry served in well done..you can't choose for how it's cooked but you can always kindly request for it the next time..if, you like the meat to be a bit juicy like me 🙂
i don't know what they call this thing..may be a modernised version of a candeliar but i'll just stick to lamps 😛 they say it looks like spiders legs but spiders are arachnids with 8 legs so i'll call this one as one of the decepticons for its un-handsome look 🙂 it's too unkind that i add some flying dove to tender the evilness 😛 and really i should have taken some photos of the couch we've been couching on..

of the results they received..

alright so i’m giving you a task to complete as you read this..i’m attaching a youtube video with this post and i’d like you to watch it, of course..and as you watch, do observe and have a thought about the following –

1) who do you think struggles more in performing the song..?
2) comparatively speaking, is gwen sebastian (small lady, short hair) not deserving to win..?

alright keep all your thoughts until the finishing sentence of this post because i’m planning to talk about something else right now, not directly related to the video i just shared..i’d like to talk about the newly announced SPM results..

each year when new SPM results were announced, i’d be reminded to that one particular day when i received something i didn’t want to receive but i was prepared to receive..each year the announcement of SPM results had never failed to remind me of my failure..

if you’re to look at my result, you’d not see a consistent line of 1A in all of the subjects thus making me not anyone of those “successful” candidates for that specific exam..yes, i didn’t score straight As in my SPM and looking at the education background (where i had my secondary education at) of course i was considered as the “less” successful..

i’m NOT trying to tell everyone here that i’d done a HUGE mistake in life for screwing my SPM result or making excuses for making the result inconsistent with several Bs in it..what i’ll try to tell instead, is that no matter how successful or unsuccessful the candidate is, what matters most is the learning process – if they can benefit from it and explore more from what they’ve learned..and chances are, not ALL students can benefit from some specific courses and not ALL could see the space for exploration..it’s the same logic that has been made in our biological make up – that no one is the same genetically speaking..Einstein had long made it crystal clear that if you judge a fish by its ability to climb, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid..

so let’s just say of all the subjects i learned from school including those unlisted in exams e.g surviving skills, friendship and growing up manual, i benefited from all, but i could only explore more in the language subject and everything else unlisted..and according to the exam system if you cannot prove it in your exam result thus you cannot prove you’ve benefited from the lessons..in black and white, yes, i failed..

but here are several things exams cannot measure – the effort each one of the students has put into in conducting a group experiment..the time spent in solving a mathematical problem because the student couldn’t understand as easily and quickly as the other students..the hard time the students had in remembering the biological facts or some confusing chemistry formula..of course, the numerous exercises they did in trying to understand how english grammar works..

the learning processes are never measured, because what matters most to them is the result..really it undermines the most disadvantaged – those who needs more time to understand, those who are uninterested and those who are just unfortunate with exams..

the same with the video i shared..to me gwen has done a lot MORE than erin..but erin can easily nail her because she has more of the same thing that gwen has (vocal style and consistency)..but i bet gwen has learned more because singing to that level is not easy on her..so how could winning do them any justice..?and how could exam results justify who’s MORE successful than others..?


of being selective..or unwanted..?

for the nth of times, i’ve been planning and drafting a blog post in malay but i ended up screwing everything for i cannot write like how i speak..for the love of God, i really REALLY need to practice my malay writing..this is beyond embarrassing 😦

anyway, i was tweeting with a friend..nothing serious..he was describing about the weather there and he’s been fortunate enough to see some “up-skirt” scenes 😛 so i jokingly teased him that he should really get married because he couldn’t seem to be able control himself to behave 😆 then he replied something like “nobody wants me” with a sad face..awww~ 😐

he caught me into thinking – how could that be..?i mean, how could he be so certain that nobody would like to take him as her boyfriend or a better half..?he’s a man, the gentleman..so to me, really, it’s more logical for the reason to be he’s being very selective in considering somebody to be special to him..alright i’m not talking about the person i communicated with specifically, but this could be a possible generalisation for guys, really..

no matter how modern the technological advancements evolve and take the society into a highly civilized nation, most people would choose to remain conventional when it comes to finding a suitable partner i.e it’s always the guys who have to “chase” after the girls..and most girls really think it’s such a HUGE embarrassment if she has to confess to the guy that she likes him..it’s even beyond humiliating if the confession doesn’t turn out successful..so yea, we do believe that the first move should come from the guys..

so no guys, it’s not that nobody wants you, it’s just nobody sees you as paying extra attention to anyone and of course, why should they respond to something uncertain and risk themselves on unnecessary embarrassment..?

it’s more logical if the single girls say that nobody wants her rather than accusing them for being too fussy in choosing a partner..they really could list down some endless criteria for a partner and work their asses off into finding such a person (dressing up to work, acting demure and graceful, showing some brain achievements etc) but the question remains – could we get it..?

alright may be you could put the blame on something else then 😛

should i list down my criteria as an example here to make you understand..? 😉

but yea, girls don’t really have the authority to make the first move..the nature is sort of hindering us from doing it for it will be going against our demure femininity..

the most that girls can do is to give a subtle hint like being concern or purposely let her stare gets caught up..but sometimes guys are too dumb to pick up the hint..and as for guys..gosh..girls would always notice it even if your hint was feather-subtle but they’d not get involved as they couldn’t see any determination..who’d want to risk embarrassment on something so uncertain..?but we hate it too if you get too confident because it simply annoys our ass off..it only tells us you’re capable of doing/saying the same things to every other girls..and nope, girls don’t like even an inch of risk of compromise..


of that dress i’m trying to make..

i’ve been browsing through HEAPS of photos and designs of wedding/bridesmaid dresses for begum’s wedding (i know, blame the free time i have..haha) but nothing really captures me..

until i scored a series of tv dates with mr boyfriend for lord of the rings that the image of eowyn gave me quite an idea of how the bridesmaid dress could be made..

so this is what she wore in that movie..

well i really love the detailing on the arms..i wonder how i can get it done about the same..

and here’s a closer look..

it always look good on the mannequin..i wonder if it can still look good on me 😀

i’ll be using a plain, pinkish purple chiffon lace with heavy floral bordering (i wonder how i could get rid of the border and make embellishments on the waistline and skirt possible)..bearing in mind too i’d be using a satin lining for the nature of a chiffon is too sheer to be made into something like the above..

ah well, 🙂 borrowing eowyn’s determination and courage *i’m not sure it’s even necessary in sewing a dress!* hahaha..i’ll do whatever i can to realise this dress..wish me luck! oh, and i think too, i’ll work on something for the neckline..may be something like this..?

would it be too much..?

i sketched the design of this dress, really..but let’s just say an 8 year old can sketch better so please just imagine how this neckline is cropped and fixed into the above dress..gee~ but really that design works perfectly well with anyone with a long torso..and noooo, i don’t really have that long torso..so i’m crossing my fingers for it NOT be a fashion disaster..

p/s dear boyfriend who’s been sleeping with his uncomfortable tummy, get well soon, alright 🙂 *sgt manja ok baru sehari exercise dah dtg semua sakit* :p haha..but yea, i mean it..behave to him mr tummy 🙂

p/s/s dear another friend..i’m happy hearing about your wedding preparations..it’ll consume a lot of your energy, and money..of course..but everyone undergoes it..you can do it..and i do pray for everything to be running smoothly 🙂 all the best buddy..


of my buka puasa..


i’ve been procrastinating to make up for the fast that i missed last ramadhan..and after gathering all the might i have, i finally completed a day today..alhamdulillah..

so at the middle of the day while doing the routine clean-up, i planned on what to cook for dinner..(i stumbled into this website while alternating cleaning up and web browsing hence the elaborated plan!) i really loved working *alright i’m indulging into my passion now as if i’m a good chef* with fish fillet and tomato soup had been my all time favourite..i really REALLY wanted to try this Skillet Cajun Spiced Flounder With Tomatoes..go see it for yourself, you’ll want to go to the kitchen and make it like immediately..or find a restaurant serving such dish..

but of course i wont try it without knowing if we have any flounder in malaysian market..what is its malay name if we have it..?i wont substitute it with other fish before knowing its original taste in its original recipe..but i’m sure i’d try it with something quite about the same if i can’t resist it anymore 😀

but yea, i made something totally very different instead..very asian in its orientation..i made nasi goreng nenas with telur bungkus ayam black pepper 🙂 yum~

it’s a meat-free nasi goreng – the typical nasi goreng pedas ft pineapple, corn, carrot and chinese long bean (kacang panjang)..

the heavy telur bungkus – a combination of meat and vegetables..black pepper chicken cooked with lemongrass and tomato juice..of course with some cili api to heighten the spiciness..added with cauliflower, baby corn and chinese broccoli (kailan)..

the nasi goreng really needs a balance combination between spicy (from the chilly) and sweet-sour (from the pineapple)..the rest of the ingredients should be minimized..

it's a top view..haha..but yea, that's how it looks like..

as with the telur bungkus, be sure to beat the egg with black pepper too..the combination of lemongrass and tomato would stabilize the hot sensation from the pepper and cili api as well as heightening the smell of the chicken..do not overcook the chicken, you don’t want to lose the spicy-sweet taste of its flesh..

there you go, you can even eat those for dinner without rice..

do let me know if you need the recipe 🙂 pardon the poor images..i’m more keen to buka puasa 🙂



of being unfortunate..

scene 1)
setting : restoran ayam penyet

a kid came approaching from my back with a bag full of flavoured crackers and tried to sell the crackers – 2 packs for rm10..he offered me and yot to taste the crackers that he claimed were made by his mother..and upon looking at the packaging, the crackers were in no doubt was home made, just they were all properly packaged..i kindly refused to buy his product but i kept my eyes on that boy..he approached all the other customers coming to that restaurant..a second after that i realised that school hours should not had ended..so what was he doing there..?so i called that boy..i asked him if he went to school that day (assuming he is a student in any one of the schools) and he said he didn’t go..

scene 2)
setting : mcdonalds in one of the shopping malls

i was talking and making plans with yot while enjoying her forever melting ice cream whenever she decided to buy one..she’s just so good in making the ice cream to melt easily..either she’s too warm, or she’s just such a snail when it comes to eating..

and when we were talking, a chinese boy came and place a card on our table..and on the card it’s written that the boy was deaf and he’s selling some crafts to make some living..so i signed to him, with whatever limited NZ sign language i knew..something so simple as simple as “can you speak..?” so he could tell me what each of the crafts/symbols mean..and i signed, i knew some signs too if he showed me..and unfortunately he didn’t understand my signs..probably he didn’t sign in English and i knew nothing Chinese..but i really couldn’t give him the benefit of the doubt so i kindly refused to buy his crafts..

scene 3
setting : the same place as scene 2, only a few minutes after that

kid : assalamualaikum kak, saya nak minta derma..
me : w’salam..adik nak minta derma untuk apa..?
kid : untuk mak saya, dia sakit, dia dekat pulau pinang..*while his eyes browsed aimlessly to his surrounding*
me : adik datang dengan siapa ni..?
kid : dengan mak angkat..
me : mak angkat adik dekat mana..?
kid : atas, tengah jalan jalan..
me : adik umur berapa..?adik sekolah tak..?
kid : umur 9 tahun, saya tak sekolah..

and suddenly the worker from mcdonalds called that kid and asked him to go away..now here’s what i observed further..

that first kid i met was selling some well packaged crackers – as if it’s not produced from home, it’s produced in a factory (with proper ingredietns and nutritional facts written on the packaging)..and that made me wondered – if his mother owned a factory, why couldn’t she let his son to go to school..?alright..if his mother bought the crackers from some suppliers, why let her son work during school hours..?

with that chinese boy – so if he couldn’t  really sign, what’s his method of communication all these while..?he couldn’t even sign the survival way (sign however they wish to sign to convey what they’re trying to say) and he didn’t prepare any pen and papers to make communication easier..i really wish i could explore his bag to see if he’s using any phones..i didn’t mean to be rudely suspicious, he just couldn’t convince me enough..

and that little boy asking for donation..he wasn’t telling the truth i swear! his speech was so scripted and you could obviously see he’s not good at lying..he might even lied about his age because he looked way too small and too young to be a 9 year old..and i could see he’s waving toward his friends who wore the same kind of songkok..yes, they were many of them..

how can i be happy about that..?to me they are no different from being somebody’s slaves only this is in the 21st century when everyone claims to be receiving the benefit of being civilised..human, we are far from being civilised if the invaluable human capital are having denied access to education and no one is there to stand up for them and burn the irresponsible adults for forcing the poor kids to be their life supports..

those kids were thin, looking weary and wore some sloppy clothes on..God knew what they’d been feeding on all day – if they ever got fed..did anyone take care of their health..?the kind of nurturing they received..?

this is my country..


i can’t not speak..

my heart sunk that i felt like packing my bags again, fly and let the distance smother my heart..a fresh air from a foreign land and making myself busy to settle down could be a good distraction and help me pick up the pieces that have been broken..i’ve done it before, and there’s a need for me to do it again..i’m not running, i’m creating the space needed..i know you need it..

but i can go..away..