where should i head now..?


Finally the long anticipated visa has arrived earlier today and i’m now permitted to be in the UK until somewhere in 2014..so it gets me into thinking, should i work there for a year after completing my MA..?well the sole motivation for anyone to be working abroad is definitely for the pay they are offering and for some others, it could be because of the flexibility of the working hours – so they won’t end up overworking themselves but remain underpaid..

the visa collected..yes collected..they just can’t make their way to my place when they actually passed my house before reaching masjid tanah..and i had to wait for four days because of the public holiday and the weekend..ah well~

as for me, i’ve never really worked..i went for several teaching trainings and experienced myself how it felt like working as a teacher..preparing the materials, arranging the schedules, make time for extra curricular activities etc but i never felt the sense of belonging to any particular job..and from my previous experiences, i’ve never really liked what i did..i enjoyed working with the students but i didn’t find satisfaction in what i have been teaching them..like “no, i didn’t plan to be teaching what i’m teaching now for like forever..though i’ll move up the career ladder, i’d still be in the same system..would i like to spend my every day resenting what i have to do..?”

and i dare to imagine myself staying in the UK for a year or two, to work there after my MA, when i’m not certain myself with the kind of things i’d like to be doing..now..?later..?i don’t know, really..

and since i have been doing nothing for almost a year now (i have to reject the posting offer because of the study offer) so yea, i have quite a lot of time to spend on trying my luck in some other field of works..so on one fine day, i sit for that diplomatic officer’s test and i miraculously passed that test so i have to go to the second stage of the test..

i was numbered 120 and the last person to arrive was numbered 129..we’re kinda one of the last to arrive but i didn’t regret insisting boyfriend and lea to have some breakfast before registering..and i know they’re grateful for that too 😛

and after the test, i’m still not quite certain with the options i have..would i like being a diplomat..?*not that i’m certain i’ll be chosen to go to the next stage* but it’s perfectly fine to think of the possibilities now..if i’m successful and i’m chosen, would i like to do it..?and so what will happen to my linguistics major..?they’re just too invaluable to be forgotten and left unpractised..i get all hyped up when some of my juniors from school of applied linguistics come to me to asking about linguistics stuff and i would look back into my old books just so i can help them and recall what i have learned back then and exchange some linguistics stuff with them..i’m just soooo passionate about linguistics..can i do that as a diplomat..? T_T

to be honest, i think i’m just not ready to work yet..and i keep telling myself i’m a better learner than a worker and really, that way, i can’t feed my family (ehem yes i’m thinking about having a family now, soon, i’Allah) 😀 but yea, i can’t pay the bills and of course i can’t be selfish by leaving it all up to the breadwinner of the family..what’s the point of having a family if i can’t contribute to the wellbeing of it..?and whyyyyyy am i still so scared to work..?why am i still indecisive..? T_T

seriously who am i now is really not what i planned..i wanted to be a doctor and suddenly i passed the MARA interview for NZ bound degree in TESOL..i thought i wanted to become a teacher and suddenly i passed the SPA’s test to become a diplomat..i am so leaving this to God and do what i need to do at the mean time..

p/s what do you think i should become..?





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