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since working has been very demanding these days, i’ve been finding ways to sweat out the unnecessary toxins accumulated from the work-related stress..and it’s so much fun when your friends are supportive about it..i guess, more and more people are conscious about their health these days..

so there we go, making full use of the abundant landscape made available at the work place..

office
The last leg of the hike..what a beautiful rainbow..

 

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Of beauty, and being a lady..

There are times when suddenly all your senses are awake and you can’t help but notice the miserable looks your overworked-colleagues are unintentionally expressing. It is not entirely their fault that they have to work hours after hours in an office with an artificial temperature of 16 degree Celcius. But unfortunately, work stress coupled with long hours in air-conditioned confined space, added with high chances of dehydration, my colleagues and myself included are prescribed with the perfect recipe for speeding up the biological clock.

'Rub this anti-wrinkle cream on all your mirrors. It won't remove the wrinkles but it will make them harder to see.'
You see, naturally women would have to go through menstruation and labour and these two alone could really cost us our youth. Not to mention the above daily tear. Seriously then, taking care of your health, specifically your skin, is not an option, but more of an obligation. Other than trying to consume a balanced diet, I learn several things that could help restore the condition of my skin. It’s like, alright, it’s painful seeing your colleagues’ haggard look, you better not make yourself look as bad.

I always have a dry-lips problem. People come to me asking if I’m sick judging from the pale appearance of the lips that is actually resulted from its dry condition. What I now do, I would dab a warm damp washcloth onto my lips, softly and gently remove the flaky bits off (if there are any) and then I’ll finish off by applying a coat of Vitamin E – enriched lip balm.

lip balm
As I said, air-conditioner and myself would not have a very good relationship because it has been the reason to my dry-and-NOT-glowing skin. But trust me, after shower moisturizers work wonders as they help to maximize the absorption of moisture. Also, it is a good practice to keep a handy lotion in your office for reapplication purposes.

Last but not least, puffy eyes. Eye bags. I know. Eyes. But why must everything centred around the eyes? Could it not be any more obvious? If you arrive at home around 11PM, there is no way that you would be able to drop by a grocery shop to buy a cucumber (it’s 11PM, why bother finding a grocery shop to begin with? They’re all closed!), or soak the tea bag just so you could use it for your eyes, or rub honey around your eyes. No, shower and sleep is the priority. And therefore, after shower in the morning, I become good friends with concealer, powder, eyeliner and mascara. Sleep is the only cure, and if you don’t have that kind of luxury, you could always visit our very good friend here for a good choice of best friends. You’re welcome 🙂

eyes

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of that expensive decision..

there are just too many reasons to be grateful about..alhamdulillah, i passed the assessment i went to at PTD assessment center a couple of months ago..and i have to get ready for the interview, scheduled to be attended on the 23rd of january..

when i applied for this post, i was waiting for my teaching post which at that time, the wait seemed never ending..everyone around me was making a lot of noises asking me to find a temporary job which i also did, and which i did not get any either..only after a few months that everything came together at one time..i got my teaching post, the MA application was approved and i was called to the assessment center..

several decisions was made and poof! i’m here doing my MA and i just purchased my ticket to go back to Malaysia to attend the PTD interview..

that was a lot of money spent, considering the chances of passing the interview as well as making myself available for the PTD cadet training..which was slim, as i still have a semester to finish my studies..

if it is up to me, i already made a different arrangement with dear husband..something like finishing my MA here, continue working in a foreign land for a year, and let husband work in some international banking institutes for a year or so..i started off with working quite a bit later in life hence there’s an urge for me to earn as much as i can, to compensate the years i spent in the education line..husband too is planning to work on our savings for future plans..

the thing is, i can’t not go for the interview..there’s a huge familial matter involve..gosh..i really don’t want to break anyone’s heart especially when they’re family to you 😦 ah well..i’ll just do what they wish for me to do..passing or not, really God will help me lead the life He wants me to..

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wedding & earning..

i went out for dinner with yot last night when we met two of our schoolmates at the restaurant..and it so happened that one of them will be getting married by next week..so we had a longgggg dinner and we talked about a lot of stuff..from work to self to marriage etc..the sort of talks people had after not meeting for years and suddenly finding out a wedding bell would be ringing soon..it’s such a hot topic for people my age these days, seriously..haha..

so he’s working as a primary school teacher and his future wife’s working as a kindergarten teacher and yes, agree with me, they make such a cute combination yes..?trust me they are..amin is a small guy with curly hair and as funny as ever, his jokes are always sharp and punching and imagine he’s building a cute little family of his own..i bet his kid’s first language would be laughing 😀

we used to be classmates, discussed on which class to skip, or looked for a person to copy their math exercises from, took turn to sleep during religious studies, booked after a novel and teased each other for being too cheesy reading a romantic novel and pretended as if we’re not liking the story (i had a photo of you holding “cinta marissa”)..hahah those days amin! and most importantly, i made him and the rest of the guys in my class to dance to a bollywood song back when we’re 16! and yes amin was at the front line..haha..

you see being a primary school teacher, he said he’s just so tired getting to come home by 1 in the afternoon..and his future wife would also come home around the same time as he would..imagine the amount of time they can have every day and would still be very capable of living a humble life, getting themselves the basic needs they’d need, spending some for leisure – they’d still be capable of having those..

compare his life with our lives..coming home from work at night thinking we’ll earn much with the extra hours spent at the office yet wishing to have more time to be at home to get some stuff done or simply to spend time with our family..you see, working your ass off so hard sometimes pays, but most of the time, you’d need to spend more just by earning more..get what i mean..?

imagine living in a big city where the rental of your house alone constitutes like 30% of your salary..and since you think you’ve secured quite a position in the company you’re working with, you’d buy a car that further consumes another 35% of your total salary..and what’s left for your well being are around 35% which you have to generously distribute among your family, bills, your own needs and savings/insurance..and yes, with never enough resting time, never enough family time, never enough “me” time..

i’m not trying to be all negative here..true we can have around 15 days leave but what’s 15 days compared to 365 days..?not that by not going to work for 15 days you can save up like 50% of your spending on fuel monthly..no way darling, it’s not as simple as that..so yea, if you ask me, i’d rather work a humble job, or a humble business, live in a humble city, not in a super busy big city..i’d have more time for my family, more time for me to socialize with things i love like books, orchids, foods whatever i feel like doing at that instant..i wont be earning much but as little as i earn, i’d not think of spending so much just because i’m just so stressed out from work and i feel like i need to spend to de-stress..sometimes, it’s good to think, not on how much you’ve worked on, but how much you’re getting back..

so amin, i’m wishing you well, sorry i wont be able to attend, but you and your wife will have my prayer i’Allah..to be blessed with a lifetime of happiness, blessed with cute little boys and girls..all the best amin 🙂

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where should i head now..?

 

Finally the long anticipated visa has arrived earlier today and i’m now permitted to be in the UK until somewhere in 2014..so it gets me into thinking, should i work there for a year after completing my MA..?well the sole motivation for anyone to be working abroad is definitely for the pay they are offering and for some others, it could be because of the flexibility of the working hours – so they won’t end up overworking themselves but remain underpaid..

the visa collected..yes collected..they just can’t make their way to my place when they actually passed my house before reaching masjid tanah..and i had to wait for four days because of the public holiday and the weekend..ah well~

as for me, i’ve never really worked..i went for several teaching trainings and experienced myself how it felt like working as a teacher..preparing the materials, arranging the schedules, make time for extra curricular activities etc but i never felt the sense of belonging to any particular job..and from my previous experiences, i’ve never really liked what i did..i enjoyed working with the students but i didn’t find satisfaction in what i have been teaching them..like “no, i didn’t plan to be teaching what i’m teaching now for like forever..though i’ll move up the career ladder, i’d still be in the same system..would i like to spend my every day resenting what i have to do..?”

and i dare to imagine myself staying in the UK for a year or two, to work there after my MA, when i’m not certain myself with the kind of things i’d like to be doing..now..?later..?i don’t know, really..

and since i have been doing nothing for almost a year now (i have to reject the posting offer because of the study offer) so yea, i have quite a lot of time to spend on trying my luck in some other field of works..so on one fine day, i sit for that diplomatic officer’s test and i miraculously passed that test so i have to go to the second stage of the test..

i was numbered 120 and the last person to arrive was numbered 129..we’re kinda one of the last to arrive but i didn’t regret insisting boyfriend and lea to have some breakfast before registering..and i know they’re grateful for that too 😛

and after the test, i’m still not quite certain with the options i have..would i like being a diplomat..?*not that i’m certain i’ll be chosen to go to the next stage* but it’s perfectly fine to think of the possibilities now..if i’m successful and i’m chosen, would i like to do it..?and so what will happen to my linguistics major..?they’re just too invaluable to be forgotten and left unpractised..i get all hyped up when some of my juniors from school of applied linguistics come to me to asking about linguistics stuff and i would look back into my old books just so i can help them and recall what i have learned back then and exchange some linguistics stuff with them..i’m just soooo passionate about linguistics..can i do that as a diplomat..? T_T

to be honest, i think i’m just not ready to work yet..and i keep telling myself i’m a better learner than a worker and really, that way, i can’t feed my family (ehem yes i’m thinking about having a family now, soon, i’Allah) 😀 but yea, i can’t pay the bills and of course i can’t be selfish by leaving it all up to the breadwinner of the family..what’s the point of having a family if i can’t contribute to the wellbeing of it..?and whyyyyyy am i still so scared to work..?why am i still indecisive..? T_T

seriously who am i now is really not what i planned..i wanted to be a doctor and suddenly i passed the MARA interview for NZ bound degree in TESOL..i thought i wanted to become a teacher and suddenly i passed the SPA’s test to become a diplomat..i am so leaving this to God and do what i need to do at the mean time..

p/s what do you think i should become..?

 

 

 

 

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allow me, i’m making excuses..

you know why i think i need more time to adjust..?*yes, i’m making excuses for myself* haha 😀

i came back in mid june, then i had to prepare myself for the coming T.E – went to HQ several times for a meeting, had to arrange several things for T.E – accommodation, food, transportation, allowance etc..

my application for honours was turned down..

i had a really bad experience with my TE..not that i didn’t learn anything good from it but the bad ones were too dominant..

oh, i came back for my best friend’s engagement too..and guess what, she’s happily preparing for her big day now..and i’m very happy for her 🙂 – can i not get affected by this too..?trust me i tried hard but i can’t..not that it’s a bad thing, but with good things they make me think harder! *pengsan* – like the cost, the preparations, meeting the parents etc..banyak rupanya nak kena fikir.. T_T

and now that i’ve completed my T.E, i have to think about what should i be doing now, at least until i get posted, which i’m not sure when either..according to the seniors, they had their posting around mid and end of february but our director has been telling us we’d have our posting sooner than that..

i was thinking of finding a job, just to have some extra pocket money for things i’d like to buy for myself..but who’d land me a job if i were to take a 10-day break in mid december..?and i’ve a plan of having a short vacation too..

and i’ve to enroll for masters before january..

and a lot more happening in between..trust me, A LOT!

can i say there are just too much to process in 5 months..?indeed! someone please teach me how to survive on my own..i’m SO not used to having to work my ass off to support myself..and reality, please be kind to me 😦

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everybody knows that nobody really knows..*song of distracted-ness*

i was about to concentrate on the case studies i should be reading and write about but here i am, writing about my distracted-ness..congratulations to me, i know..hey it’s Friday!!! i shouldn’t be working so hard..i should be making it a happy day..so yeah, just bear with me until i finish writing craps over here, ya 😀

so the returning ticket has been confirmed..as much as i’m too lazy to finish the last bits and pieces of my studies here, it doesn’t make me all excited to go home and start working..i don’t know..i can study my whole life but i’m not sure if i’m ever ready to work my ass off and start earning for myself..i’m still too young to work~!!! *worst in-denial case*

so yesterday i was so overwhelmed..the ticket is confirmed, but i haven’t got my assignments done, or the packing sealed..i haven’t even started..the future seems so fierce i’m so scared to even start..and this place has been such a paradise to me..sobs sobs..and next week will be my last class as an undergraduate, here at vic..you’ll be missed..may we meet again..

and out of distraction, i found this:

chuck just ruined the bad boy image with this photo..uwaa~!!! give me back my old ruthless chuck bass!

and here’s a song which has nothing to do with my life, but the melody gives me peace of mind..john legend everybody knows..enjoy 🙂