T.E day 16..

when she said, “you don’t need me to be in the class do you?” i felt like doing a happy dance as i didn’t have to worry that she would change my lesson plan..so i managed to do some listening activities with the class though i had some difficulties with the technology before starting the activities..ah well, we managed somehow 🙂 the kids were happy with what they’re doing and i was happy too because i helped them learn the enjoyable way..most importantly, what i used was the closest to authenticity – the best that i could find..

we had majlis khatam quran yesterday followed by an iftaar after that..i had good companies but overall, i didn’t really enjoy participating on the events put up by the schools..i mean, phew~i have plenty of reasons to not liking to join the events but let’s just say, i’d rather keep them to myself..but one that i can share, i just don’t like seeing the students looking at the teachers who were having way proper meals than what they’re having..unfair, don’t you think..?so if we can’t afford to pay for the same food to all of the students, would it kill you to enjoy what they’re having..?older people are mean sometimes..*sigh~*

T.E day 15..

1) when she said she might be coming in late, she meant – no, i won’t be coming..

2) it is highly likely for the school to be running out of toner for the printers..and do not expect to find printers with toner in other departments..even the photocopier is inaccessible..

3) authentic classroom – things can go wrong all at once..suddenly the DVD player is having some sort of a heart attack, the LCD projector is speaking a foreign language, the plug point is undergoing a surgery..and no! the speaker is suffering from TB that it loses its voice..and one of your students is needing a medical attention but you can’t leave the classroom unattended..and yes, your mentor teacher wouldn’t be understanding your situation and questions back why would you need such support and resources for your teaching..

4) teachers, we need 2 or 3 back up plans..

5) marking essays..all the best teachers..how you wish you’re only teaching basic writing to little kids..at least all they write are alphabets..small or in capitals..not some unintelligible combination of English words..

6) unmotivated teachers and very limited resources..tell me how can i help, please..i really want to..

one of the things i don’t want to forget #1..

i was in the car with Shanes the other day when we saw a lady driver was talking to her little son, who was standing instead of sitting at the front seat..so we went like “no..we’re so not gonna let that to happen..”

here’s a note to myself..if i should have a child, i would find a child’s car seat, so they’d sit safely at the back.. remind me if i forget..*tho i always hate couples with little kids as they would get very busy setting up the seat for their babies and able to board the plane before everyone else*

safety first

T.E day 14..

dear students,

sorry i didn’t keep my promise but before i knew it it’s not for me to control anymore..i’d find time to do what i’ve promised..please don’t throw away the paper planes just yet..

i came across an ad from a friend’s facebook yesterday..and here’s the same ad i’d like to share with you..of the extra miles that a teacher would go in helping their students..made me wonder if i could ever do the same..

sometimes..

1) sometimes i know i shouldn’t be feeling what i’m feeling but i can’t stop that from happening..

2) so when i share such things with you i’m not trying to put the blame on you nor purposely make you feel guilty..no, i wasn’t trying to screw anything..

3) it makes me feel better just by making you acknowledge that sometimes things aren’t working as straight as i wish..

what’s on my mind..?

1) i’ve been writing a lot about my T.E and helplessly, relationship related posts..i really should be getting some reads..so i can make this blog breathe again..seriously T.E and relationship are consuming a huge amount of my emotions i feel like suffocating..

2) raya is coming soon and i really can’t make a decision that could favour dad..i really don’t feel belonged to my other side of family and after a few years now, i really wish i could spend a long raya break with the other side..dear dad, i really wish you could understand and i’m terribly sorry..i’ll go there for raya haji, ya..

3) i’m still so amused with the little kids i’m teaching..they are very cute little boys walking on small feet wearing seluar pinggang getah that the belt they used serves no purpose at all..the bag pack they’re carrying still look oversized compared to their little, underdeveloped figure..i mean, hey~they are just too adorable to be in form one or form two even..seriously kids, are you sure you should be learning all these complex grammatical rules and not go back to kindie or primary school..?haha..they make me feel old..and yes, they make me feel like having my own little boy 🙂

4) i really feel like i need a break and being an intern now really curbs the amount of money i should be spending..let’s just say, alright..i’ll save for now..and when condition permits, i’ll spend it where i want to be the most nevermind the cost..question is..?haha..am i being realistic now..?

5) i’ve really been looking for this year’s ramadan and i’ve been expecting several sessions of iftaar with the girls but until now *almost reaching the third week* non of our plans is successful..em, we’re growing up..we now have different commitments and expectations so yeah, we need to make family as our priority..we know we’re missing each other and yes, we’re still making plans..hopefully we can gather for iftaar at least once, this year..dear begum, tahun ni last ok kau nak buka puasa dengan kitorang dan masih berstatus single..tahun depan puasa kau dah tak single ok~!!!

T.E day 13..

what’s with day 13..?

sometimes learning aides are just unnecessary if you’re good in prompting the students to come up with the target vocab..or if your students are well versed with the subject and if the contents are highly related to their background knowledge..so if this should happen to your class, it’s better for you to focus on the activities to make learning more engaging and enjoyable..

and i will only get my feedback sheet tomorrow as my associate teacher is busy herself as she would in turn be observed by her superior..all the best dear associate teacher 🙂

it feels wonder when you’re made important and needed..

i act silly and stupid sometimes,
and i lied if i say i’m not clingy nor needy,
but true i’m becoming a person i’ve never thought i’d become,
no you did not cast any spell (not that i know),
but whatever i’m feeling feels like magic,
a singer from my mom’s generation says it right,
there were moments of gold and there were flashes of lights,
see if you can find the singer but i only meant this line alone,
relationship is not going to be easy or gets any easier,
and i mean yes,
no, i mean no..
i can’t describe how it feels when you make me as an important person to you,
i lost for words to tell you how it feels when i feel needed,
so let me make it clear to you then..
hey you, true you’re important, true i need you, you know it i know 😀
and if you haven’t seen them yet,
i’m flawed and never close to perfection,
so that explains the flashes of lights i’ve been giving you,
i’m sorry but i’m trying my best,
and i do love you

i know, it feels wonders..

T.E day 12 part II..

you know most of the comments i received so far read something like this –

“you appeared to be very firm and unapproachable to the students”

and with the form two class i taught today, i could see that they moved like robots..learned as if they were forced to learned..i could see tense on their shoulders and back..

dear students, i’m sorry i have to experiment things like that to you..i need to learn the features of an ideal teacher..i hate it too that i have to be strict – i put on a lot of stress on my muscles too..but let me finish this phase first..hopefully by the end of this practical i will know how to be a good teacher – who does not need to be all strict and firm to make the students listen and who can help make learning an enjoyable process..

i’m so sorry students..

sincerely,
your student teacher

T.E day 12..

i went to a form four class this afternoon and to my surprise, their level of English was way poorer than the form two students..looking into this matter i came to realise that there would not be much difference if they were to be drilled into scoring for their exams..

the way i see it, learning a second language nevermind the reasons for you to start learning it, the end product will be for you to be able to use the language to communicate..but if the main goal is set to be “scoring A for the exam” from the beginning of the process, how could you expect the users to be able to communicate using that target language..?all they can do is to answer all the questions in the exams..

with the current system, teachers are made to believe that students must be able to score in their exams so they can have better opportunities for their tertiary education..looking on the surface of that statement, it seems like nothing is wrong..true, that your achievement in secondary education determines what you can do in your tertiary education..however, such expectations put unnecessary pressures to both students and teachers..

i mean, come on..learning a language can be made fun if the aim is to help students to use the target language successfully..but when the aim is shifted to scoring As and nothing less, doesn’t that change how students perceive the language..?they might have a little interest towards the language but with unnecessary pressure for them to score, would it not crunch their interest in learning the language..?they will only see the learning process as a burden..

true they need to score As in their exams so they can pursue their tertiary education in prominent institutions..but what’s the point if they can prove their ability technically on certificate but they fail miserably to practically prove their ability..?it sure will affect their self esteem believe it or not..

screw the education system..sad, i can’t really change a lot..